The Shed, Part 1

At the beginning of summer I sat with a beautiful group of women where we were each asked what one of our goals was for the summer. I don’t know about you, but quickly I ran through in my mind a zillion goals, what I felt comfortable sharing, and what I might actually accomplish.  Immediately, I thought of the ‘shed project’.  Now mind you, this is no ordinary project. At least not for me.  This is a shed whose contents embody and span decades.  Literally. My childhood toys, memorabilia from my children, AND, the ‘inheritance’. Being a significant (and sometimes, sole) recipient, sorter, and keeper of the remains of others in my family.  We are not talking ‘remains’ as in cremation, nevertheless, ‘leftovers’ from people who no longer walk this planet.  Dad.  Mom.  Sister.  Grandma.  How did I get this job?  And what in the heck do I do with all this stuff? In the box I sorted yesterday were bits and pieces of toys from my young childhood.  I was instantly taken back –I could remember playing with these things - even down to the little doll-house table I hand made from a block of Styrofoam and a swatch of fabric.  It felt like it opened to me memories long forgotten.  The good with the not-so-good.  It was then I realized I was at an intersection, if you will where a number of paths have converged.  One, bringing me into deeper levels of release…letting go of things of the past that were out of the realm of my control…things that I COULDN’T then and CAN’T now change.  What felt the most significant, though, was how most of us have ‘sheds’ of ‘stuff’.  If they aren’t an actual structure, perhaps they are compartments of our lives that we close off with walls and doors.  We have every good intention of getting back to that ‘project’ at some point.  Let’s face it.  It can be painful, confusing, overwhelming.  If I want to be truthful, it takes a willingness to look honestly into hidden places.  Maybe dark corners.  Places that definitely need a light to shine so the contents can be revealed.  I resolve, once again, to go there.  I realize that this isn’t completely foreign territory…It is just an opportunity to go deeper, release a little more, be healed in new ways.  I can do this.  Armed with the Light, I will forge ahead…